Category Archives: Opining with my Opinion

Twitter

I don’t get it. I think Twitter is where I draw the line with technology. When I first found out about Twitter last year, I wrote a snarky column about it for an online magazine I was working for. I admit, I was just trying to “find an angle” after reading that some kid Twittered that he was contemplating suicide and sent hundreds of friends he’d never met into a panic. 

So, now that I have to whore myself out on everything that begins with www because that’s what comedians think nowadays, I decided to join Twitter. I see that many people are following me – and that’s not to brag – maybe just a little but what are they getting out of it? I barely update. And when I do I feel so much pressure to say something funny in such a short word count. 

I have a hard time following other people on Twitter. I don’t care. So, do I just log on to the page and scroll through updates? I suppose I have to have a reason – like a follow a live-baseball-game Twitter session or a live surgery. I don’t use Twitter on my ‘handheld device’ because my handheld device is usually at the bottom of my purse – ignoring anyone who tries to contact me on it. 

I think this might be where I officially shut down and don’t want to learn any more new and hip technology. Obviously if I have to use a computer to breathe in the future, I’ll have my friend’s grandchildren show me how. But I’m not having fun on Twitter. 

I’m not one of those comics who is complaining that coffee is too expensive and everyone has a reality show. I’m not going to go as far as saying I’d rather actually TALK to people rather than type to them, I wouldn’t. 

I’m watching Keith Olbermann right now and he’s talking to someone about Newt Gingrich’s Twitter action from last night. I feel overwhelmed. There are too many people communicating all at once. Too much information is swirling around at all times. I don’t like when the adults are in on social networking – especially politicians who are Twittering during a presidential speech? It’s the equivalent of holding a transistor radio or a Watchman to watch a football game – remember those old sight gags from 1980’s sitcoms? 

Anyway, I’ll blog. I’ll Facebook Fan Page. I’ll Myspace. But I’m bad at Twitter.

I’m also bad at accepting mean comments on my WordPress blog about how I suck and am not funny. So, like Twitter, I plan to avoid those as well.

Is This Real Life?

“Is This Real Life?”  – originally published on PopRockCandyMountain

“Is This Real Life?” No, David After Dentist, this is not real life! You are on You Tube. On Drugs. You are a kid. Your dad is taping you. You are now an internet sensation. You will probably get a development deal (they don’t give those out in Hollywood anymore, unless you make a funny 90 second video on the internet.)

Like all of you, I watched this video over and over again and I laughed and laughed. I called my co-workers over to my desk and watched them watching it and we laughed and laughed.

This kid has “it.” If you took a hundred kids who are just coming down off of dentist-induced-dope, I bet only 1% of them will be as intriguing as David. (And by the way, my prediction is that there will be a million copy cat videos on the net. Lots of messed up parents out there, video cameras poised and ready, will be begging their dentist, “Are you sure Jimmy doesn’t need a tooth extracted?”) Not every person on drugs suddenly wants to understand the meaning of life. Some people just fall asleep, throw up, or watch a Golden Girls marathon. It’s not just that he’s high on drugs (by the way, what drug was that?) – he asks intelligent questions while high on drugs. IS this REAL life? As far as we know. I don’t suppose any of us can prove that this is REAL LIFE. What is real life? Will he feel this way forever? Now, that’s an interesting question, little David.

Unfortunately David, you won’t feel like that forever. It’s not every day that you are in oblivion and bliss and it’s legal. It’s not every day that you’re going to have millions of people lovingly laughing at you on You Tube. It’s not every day that your dad is going to be happy that drugs made you feel ’so good.’ But you’ll want this feeling again. You’ll say, “Even though I was confused, I feel like I loved sitting in the backseat of that car announcing that I had two fingers. My dad gave me attention that day. The world gave me attention that day and all I had to do was scream, ask questions and nod off.”

Maybe because your dad took a private moment where you had no judgment (but he did!) and put it on the internet, you’ll crave that kind of attention. Maybe you’ll fake a sports injury to get some of that Vicodin you’ve heard so much about. Maybe you’ll quit the sports team and join up with the theatre kids and then worse, the kids who write poetry for the high school paper. Then maybe you’ll decide to skip college and run off to Hollywood because millions of people watched you on the internet in ONE day back in 2009. That’s more people than watch The Tonight Show!

But you’ll be no good to anyone all sober and boring. You’ll realize how close Mexico is to Los Angeles and that they don’t need no silly prescription in order to hand over the tranquilizers. You will have an addiction. You’d be the perfect candidate for Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew but you never became a celebrity. You never had the chance. (Although if the show continues to scrap the bottom of the barrel for celebrities, perhaps someone who had a popular You Tube video as a kid will qualify.)

Your whole life will go down the toilet all because your dad couldn’t leave a private moment alone, all because your dad reinforced into your 7-year-old moldable brain that you are funny when you are fucked up.

Of course, little David, I hope this doesn’t happen. I hope your dad puts down the camera and millions of other parents stop putting their kids, unwillingly on tape and then uploading them. This goes for you too, you weirdo’s on The Bachelor who take your toddlers on your “dates.”
Now, I’m not trying to get all serious about a little, fun, innocent family video. But if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have had a column for this week.

The Other Great TV Shows

Originally published on Pop-Rock Candy Mountain

Thanks for hanging in there with me, through all the ups and downs of my blogging career. I know I got kind of annoying there for a while with my paranoia (justified but still…) that the 2008 election would be subverted by the Karl Rove-bots and we’d be left with the covertly ambitious Sarah Palin as our VP.

I raced home from work to begin my relaxing night of watching election returns. I got in my pajamas and made myself a hot toddy (I had a cold.) Just as I was settling in for a long night, Chris Matthews announced that he had an announcement to make. And then it happened…my DVR switched the channel and started recording a repeat of Entourage. (This is my fiancée’s fault. He tapes the show. But I own the Sex & the City movie so, we’re both equally terrible.)

I furiously scrambled with the remote control and my DVR was insistent that I watch Entourage. After what seemed like five hours but was really sixty seconds, I got my TV back to MSNBC. I saw crowds literally dancing in the streets of New York City. For a moment I thought I had entered a time warp and it was New Years Eve. Nope. It was just America celebrating the election of our first black President and our first Democratic president in eight years. I was watching the credits of Entourage while the rest of the world had that moment – that one moment in time that I’ll never get back. I began yelling, “Entourage? The results of the most historic election in American history and I miss it because of freaking Entourage?” My neighbors yelled, “Shut up!” They must be either fans of Entourage or fans of celebrating Obama’s wine without my whining.

Now that I’m not watching pundit predictions 24/7 I’m adding a few more flakes of flavor into my TV-watching stew. And I want to tell you about some of my favorite shows on TV. I know that 30 Rock and The Daily Show and Real Time and all the other great shows are the best shows on TV. But I’m talking about the other best shows on TV. And here they are.

Ruby, Sundays at 8pm on The Style Network.

Ruby is a four-hundred-something pound woman who is putting her struggle to lose weight with a new training and diet program on TV. Ruby is constantly joking around about how she can’t sit without her ankles filling up with fluid, her sleep apnea, her inability to stand for too long. My husband-to-be covers his eyes and groans when I watch this show because he can’t stand her flip attitude towards her possible early death due to obesity. But I find her fascinating to watch. If you log on to the show’s message boards the average viewer seems to take Ruby’s sense of humor at face value. They log on and thank her for laughing through all of this. Not to knock my fellow-Ruby watchers but if you have a little more intellectual curiosity than your average message-boarder, you can see that Ruby is in serious emotional pain and her constant joking is a huge way for her to distract herself and whoever she’s talking to from really getting close to her sadness.

And the best part of the show is her nephew Jim. I can’t tell if he’s gay or just Southern. If I were a betting woman, I’d peg him as gay. In the first episode he explains, very quickly and with a strange smile on his face that he lives with Ruby. His parents can’t have him living at home because….he’s allergic to their cat. And I’m supposed to accept immediately that it’s normal for parents to choose a cat over their teenage boy who is now being left to be homeschooled by Ruby and her (seemingly gay) other male roommate, her childhood friend. I hope she loses the weight and I hope that Jim moves to New York City and gets a spin-off reality show called Gay Southern Guy in The Big Apple.

Celebrity Rehab, Thursdays at 10pm on VH1

Lots of people ask me how I can love this show when really isn’t it just D-list actors exploiting themselves? No. Where else are you going to hear Rodney King’s side of the L.A. beating story? Who else is going to give Gary Busey a platform for his Busey-isms? – like FAITH – Fabulous-Adventures-In-Trusting-Him. Where else can I learn that Tawny Kitaen’s real name is Julie? The failed reality TV show, Sons of Hollywood didn’t showcase Rod Stewart’s son as anything but a tail-chasing jerk. On Celebrity Rehab we see him calling his fellow rehab-mates “beautiful” and giving many same-sex back massages.

And don’t get me started on Dr. Drew. Not only does he have surprisingly great biceps but he’s brilliant. He’s no Dr. Phil. When Drew nods and looks concerned for you – he means it. And he doesn’t yell at anyone with a catch phrase like “What were you thinking?”

The show definitely does not glamorize drug use but it does make me want to live in a communal place where every morning I’m woken up for morning exercises and group therapy. How cleansing to bawl before 9 a.m. with a group of new acquaintances and cozy chenille blankets.

Admittedly, it’s hard to watch Jeff Conaway contemplate suicide and walk around bent at the waist with a cane. I was so in love with him when he was Bobby on Taxi. I’m wondering if someone in that rehab center could just show him my favorite episode of Taxi where he loses a role on a soap opera but decides to remain a struggling actor anyway. Would Jeff come back to life if he could see a DVD of his once-feathered hair and tight jeans? It might be something for Dr. Drew to consider if Jeff tries to leave again.

And finally,
The Pick-up Artist, Sundays at 10pm on VH1
My friends ask me, how can a loudmouth feminist like you, like this show? I don’t think there is anything wrong with picking up women at bars. Have you met women who go to bars to hook up? That’s what they want. No one is there to discuss Tolstoy. Sure, the methods are a little cookie-cutter and it seems as though the message is that if you are a little fresh to a woman and dazzle her with a few magic tricks that she’s putty in your arms, but, um, these women on the show…respond that way and it’s fascinating to watch.

Being a comedian, I’m often around nerdy dudes and I’ve had a few hit on me. The painful part is when a shy guy is hitting on you but he’s somehow doing it so badly that the girl ends up doing all the work and wanting to leave at the same time. Painfully nerdy guys need to learn how to talk to girls so that at least the girls are entertained while being put in an awkward position. And if wearing a feather boa, and black nail polish and starting conversations with a group of girls with lines like, “Did you know Elvis dyed his hair?” works for these loveable geeks, great.

Okay, now I’m going to obsessively flip between the cable news networks until someone tells me if Hillary Clinton accepted the Secretary of State position or not!

Obama on Letterman Makes Me Think, WWKD?

Obama was on Letterman last night. He was charming. He was funny. He was likeable. He was geniune. He was earnest. He was smart.
BUT
I started to wonder. How would Dennis Kucinich have handled Letterman’s question about what could have been done differently on 9/11 and how to avoid an attack today?
Before you get your fingers poised to type – let me say, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW he has to be political on TV and he’ll get accused of this, that and the other. I KNOW, this is the problem with the Democrats, trying to act diplomatic, fair and set an example in a world where everyone else is cheating and winning.
This is my blog. This is my fantasy.
Now.
In this world where people fall in love with Republicans because they tell it like it is (they are lying, but people think they are hearing “straight talk”.) What if Obama did real straight talk?
I’m picturing this.
Instead of saying Giuliani did a good job, he could have said the truth. Giuliani was walking the streets because he had no office – because he put the terrorism response center in the trade towers. That’s like me keeping an emergency condom, in my fallopian tubes. TOO LATE.
Richard Clark, the terrorism expert who had decades of expertise under Reagan, Bush I and Clinton and who was already working on Bin Laden, was FIRED. He was FIRED immediately upon Bush’s entrance to the White House – for reasons of ego.
Bush ignored his daily briefings that said “Bin Laden Determined To Strike Within U.S.”
Giuliani was not well liked by the police and the firemen, they have come out and admitted it.
Now, I lived in NYC on 9/11 and I didn’t know WHAT THE FUCK to think. And I fell for it. Giuliani is my daddY! He’s telling me how to feel and what to do everyday because I’m so damn traumatized! But then I started to unthaw and listened to people and realized that although he did conduct himself with great sorrow and attended those funerals, every single freaking one of them, he was not well liked. I had not been paying attention.
I know a lot of you, who didn’t live in DC or NYC on that day, might be terrified. Some of you have even asked me how scared I was on that day, since I’m such a known neurotic.
I was not scared at all. Because in the face of real danger, I believe you see the face of God. That city was beautiful that day and not just the weather. Any person who was not physically injured rose to the occassion and there was no time for neurosis. And my feelings on life and death were so fucking crystal clear, my understanding that I have NO regrets and no true sorrow was staring me in the face. It was about other people, not me.
I have a problem with people from other states, voting for people who will “Keep them safe” when I lived it, in the unsafe city, under the president whose neglicence let this happen. Ironic that most people in NYC realize this and people who are more in need of a daddy figure to have a beer and shoot a gun with in faraway states, are so adamant about who keeps us safe and how pissed they are about 9/11. I FUCKING LOVE THIS COUNTRY and that’s why I dissent. My forefathers gave me that right. I have no party identity. I have a strong identity. I go to therapy so I can honestly look at myself. You think I really give a shit about Democrat or Republican? No. But today I do, because the Republican party has been corrupted by corporations, Karl Rove and neo-con-ism.

Anyway, Obama could have told David Letterman, as Kucinich would have, that Bin Laden’s demands and one reason behind 9/11 was that he wanted us out of Sauda Arabia. He wanted us to close the Sultan Air Base. Guess what? WE DID! Did you know that? We met his demands, after 9/11. We flew his family out of the United States in the middle of the night.
So, although Obama is right, yes, we should have stayed in Afghanistan and caught Bin Bin, it’s not that simplistic. And I just wish he could have explained it better. He could have mentioned Blackwater and how he won’t have a private army that makes 100K a year and doesn’t have to follow the Geneva convention methods of war….
Where was NORAD on that day?
SOMETHING!
How about, “I would not continue reading My Pet Goat to a classroom of children.”
Did you further know, that when Bush was reading My Pet Goat (after the second plane hit)- he says he didn’t want to stop because he didn’t want to scare the kids. He couldn’t say, “Excuse me kids, the President has to pee pee. Or the President has some important callst to take! Santa is on the line!” Instead, he did not speak to the country right away and he later took a school photo with the kids, where he openly spoke about the terrorist attack in front of them. So much for not scaring them.

But instead, Obama was charming, and didn’t want to Monday morning quarterback. But no one is asking him to say, how would you react to 9/11? Let’s bash Republicans. No. It was, tell us, how you will keep us safe because it seems so more intricate than quoting WANTED signs from the Old West.
I just think Kucinich would have been firing off facts and swinging his arms and jumping in his chair like the little Liberal Leprachaun he is. And that’s why he’s not popular. Because he makes just as much sense as Obama but he has more balls. He’s briliant. He’s such a straight talk express. And if the country, or at least the Democratic base heard him, they would cheer. He could tell them where to find the facts if anyone doubted. It might be challenging but I’d rather fight the right with FACTS and BOLDNESS than CHARM and trying to be nice. Just as Kerry and Gore how that worked for them!

My views on loving America – and a West Palm Beach gig

I just got back from West Palm Beach Florida where I did six shows (stand-up.) Before I left, I had some concerns. This is after all the state run by Jeb Bush and where the 2000 election was “decided”. I worried that people would hate my act. It’s not even that my act is political. It’s most personal and about very relatable themes that have all been dissected before.

BUT

I do notice that the more right-leaning a county, the less tolerance there is for a woman to take the stage and make them laugh. In those situations, sometimes people start heckling before I take the mic. Even a very liberal and smart crowd in Philly when I was there a few months back, had six lunkheads up front who yelled, “Hillary Clinton sucks!” as I came out on stage. I turned around. Was she behind me? Was I wearing an enormous, pastel beaded necklace? Did I have bags under my eyes? I’m not Hillary. Ohhh…I get it. I’m a woman. On a stage. Talking. Yes. We all suck. Can I go on, please? Not really, becuase the loudest lunkheads are always the “winners” in an audience. So, it doesn’t matter if 200 other people are on your side, they are going to be quiet about it.

So, I braced myself for beautiful weather and a messy weekend of shows. I was wrong! It rained a few times and the shows were beautiful. The late show Saturday night, which usually means a comic will spend their time baby-sitting the crowd rather than entertaining, was great. Even the bachelorette party with their battery operated twinkling tiara’s and balloons were well-behaved and laughing and nice. No heckling at all. Not once.

In fact, when I left the stage, one woman grabbed my arm and said, “Don’t feel badly about shitting your pants. (one of my jokes). One time a guy had his face in my crotch and I farted in his mouth.”

You don’t hear comments like that from America on the campaign trail. That’s why I love comedy.

The crowds were diverse as well…lots of people of retirement age, young people, people in between. It was great. And the jokes I have that hint at a political liberalism were met with applause. Either Florida is liberal in that part of the strip mall on Okeechobee Road or the country is in a grace period where it’s not going to crush anyone’s cowboy identity to realize that we got it wrong the last eight years – or at least that stuff is messed up.

Of course, the Sunday night crowd was a bummer. They were tired, quiet, eating, easily offended, didn’t care about anyone else’s life experience. I actually had to work. One of those shows as a comedian that of course everyone you know in that area shows up to and they probably think to themselves, “Why does she do this?” But luckily no one I know was there.

I even found the people in the hotel to be a delight. I had my daily routine of watching primary coverage on CNN on the treadmill every day and one nice man came in engaged me in a political discussion. He was a Republican, his wife a mostly Democratic voting Independent. We made fun of Romney and some of the people who stump for Obama and Clinton and we talked about what we wanted and why. It was civilized. We agreed on a lot of things but felt our particular party could do it better.

In a brief moment this weekend where I spent six days talking to people from all over America, there seemed to be an absence of the “Rove Attitude.” People were not angry or defensive about their views. I’ve always said that we are a nation of rebels and bad-asses who ultimately want peace so we can drink our beer and be left alone – the righties think that Bush is that guy and Fox News is on their side. (They are wrong.) But the righties think that I am wrong. But no one could stand still long enough to listen to the logic, “We all want the same things, but one of our sides is being lied too. Let’s try to figure this out.”

Maybe it was a weird grace period because it was 85 degrees and humid and people were on vacation but it seems less tense than even a few months ago when I was going around the USA.
I know once the real election starts – we’ll see the fear ploys and people’s low-self esteem catered to with the promise that they live in a bad-ass cowboy country and any sort of compassion or unity is for pussies.

But, for one weekend I lived in the America that I loved…where chick comics are not heckled, guys compliment my act without saying “for a girl…” and I can have a politcal conversation in a hotel gym without getting a weight thrown at my head.

"Polite" Conversation

Here I go again.

My boyfriend and I were at a cocktail party a little while ago and the subject came up amongst the other couples we were with about having kids. The other couples were married. We are not. My boyfriend and I plan to be together for the long haul. We’re not afraid of marriage. We’re just not sure we want to pay a dime for all of the hoopla. We don’t like planning stuff and I don’t particularly like dressing up. Or sponsoring hundreds of my closest friends and family’s drinking for one night. We’d much rather do something else with our limited funds. Oh, and the funds don’t exist right now for a wedding. It’s going to be a while. Everyone stop holding their breath (unless you’re underwater, then keep holding it.)

When the married couples asked if we were married and we said no, there was no debate, no discussion. That would probably be seen as tacky to reprimand us for not making our living arrangements legal, it’s such a personal decision, no?

Then on the topic of kids, when we said that we do not plan to reproduce there was trouble. First of all, my boyfriend was set adrift like a melting iceberg from the conversation immediately, because I guess since I carry the womb, I carry all the responsiblity for handling this conversation. I was told that I’m young. I’ll change my mind. I was asked how old I am. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Can’t we talk about money or politics instead? That would be less stressful.

For my boyfriend and I we don’t want children. We know this deep in our hearts. We don’t dislike children. That’s a ridiculous leap to make. Due to our beliefs socio/politically we don’t feel that we two need to reproduce. It’s never been our heart’s desire and we find ourselves more attracted to the adoption option should we ever decide later in life that we would like to contribute to the world by raising a child. We do not believe we need to populate. Now, if you’re like many friends of mine, you so want kids, you just crave it, you always have and you want a family. Amen. Go for it. Since I don’t, I choose to believe that it’s a gene or something in my body and I’m one of the “control” group for the population. I just don’t want them.

I know my biology could change, but my brain will not. And I’m a human being version 9.0 and so I have the power of thought, reason and decision making. Of course, my body has felt like it’s time to reproduce but my brain does not. The things I feel strongest about, vegetarianism, activism, being in show biz and loving Norman Lear sitcoms have been part of my passion since I was 5, I knew at a young age what I was passionate about. I don’t have that passion for child rearing.

I’m not taking a stance to be stubborn or cling to this “I don’t want kids” as part of my identity the way I insisted that I was going to spell Jen, “Jehnn” in high school as a way to identify myself. As my friend said to me, “You can still be cool and have kids. You could buy your baby a Ramones tee-shirt.” Yes. I know that. I am not worried that I’ll lose my cool. I never had it anyway.

I don’t understand why this upsets people, why my morals are called into question. My boyfriend and I believe that our morals shape our decision to not have kids yet we’d never throw that in people’s faces at what is supposed to be a fun cocktail party. I start to see people as “us” and “them” and then I don’t have a good time. My oldest and dearest friends, one who has kids and the other is attempting the task, never, ever say this shit to me. Ever. They could care less that I don’t want kids. And I’m happy that they do have kids. I love it and I’m so happy to see them in this new phase of their life and to see their daughters become all of the ages that me and their moms remember so well.

Maybe it’s a Los Angeles thing, which isn’t fair to say but that’s where I live and that’s where I hear the “you’ll change your mind” mantra over and over. I do get emails from people in other parts of the USA with the same sentiment and usually everyone thinks I’m saying I hate kids.

Let me refer to one of my favorite authors, a hippy, spiritual, environmentalist MOTHER of one, Anne Lamott who writes some of my favorite personal essay books. She said in her latest book Grace Eventually; Further Thoughts on Faith:

“Let me say that not one part of me thinks you need to have children to be complete, to know parts of yourself that cannot be known any other way. People with children like to think this, although if you are not a parent, they hide it – their belief that having a child legitimizes them somehow, validates their psychic parking tickets. They tell pregnant women and couples and one another that those who have chosen not to breed can never know what real love is, what selflessness really means. They like to say that having a child taught them authenticity.

This is a total crock. Many of the most shut-down, narcisstic, selfish people on earth have children. Many of the most evolved, the richest in spirt, the most giving, do not. The exact same chances for awakening, for personal restoration and connection exist for breeders and nonbreeders alike. I had kids because of instinct and all that. As for so many women my body said do it. Yet I always assumed I’d be a mother. Children can connect you to the child inside you, who can still play and be silly and helpless and capable of wonder. This child does not have to be yours of course, however living with a child makes the opportunity more likely.”

I just wish I never had to answer the question, “What do you think is wrong?” again. Nothing is wrong. I’m as normal as someone who wants kids. I was shocked to find when I brought up that a close relative of mine, now in menopause never had kids, the cocktail party clutch said, “Is she okay? What happened?” Nothing ‘happened.’ She didn’t choose to procreate.

I don’t know what about having kids has become so precious with this generation. I know our parent’s generations having kids might have seemed like more of a “to-do” than a miracle and a great way to learn about yourself but let’s all calm down with the way we talk to us non-breeders. It’s very upsetting. You all are acting like monsters.

I Never Said Heaven Was the Goal

I Never Said Heaven Was the Goal

I understand how misinterpreting religion from a childish perspective leads to jihads, radical conservatism, pro-life rally’s, racism, sexism and homophobia and general apathy.

I understand how atheists in the public eye are often given death threats and are constantly harassed by all orthodox-level religious folks.

However, there are some tenants to a particular religion that I follow and I attend services and do other such activities. I believe in science, global warming and I try to do works of philanthropy weekly whether it’s petition signing or donating money or volunteering or buying $5 worth of groceries in my weekly basket for the homeless outreach program in my neighborhood. These are tiny things but they are just conscious reminders of how lucky I am, and how it’s my second job to be an informed American citizen.

I’m a lefty liberal and I also believe in God.

I never said God was Santa Claus or that he’s my Daddy in the sky or I’m going to party in the afterlife, like Bill Maher jokes about – YOU said that. My very private beliefs (although I choose to vaguely make them public here) have to do with my personal happiness, my personal connection to my role in the world. My religion does not act as a salve because I’m scared of death or act as a way to protect my fears of some afterlife that I think I can or can’t get in.

As a religious person I think I have more important less childish things to think about. Much like the beliefs of an atheist (and I have no problem with atheists. I don’t think everyone has to believe in God.) But my beliefs don’t cause me sit pondering about what happens when I die. I know I don’t prefer death and I’m a little scared of not living but who isn’t? And it’s not religion that influences that, that’s just narcissism. But what religion has taught me is that I can’t control death anyway so why don’t I do my job on Earth which is to be a truth teller and peace maker. Wow, how irrational of me!

The other thing is that I don’t just believe what’s told to me. I have never questioned more in my life then when I started to find that I was getting involved with my spiritualit and beliefs again. I don’t “do what I’m told” and I don’t think that was ever the intention of religion. We have free will but a moral obligation for peace. I think it’s that simple. And peace is good for selfish reasons as well. It makes everyone’s life easier and more abundant.

But true peace is challenging, it doesn’t just involve hating who is leading us to war, it’s a horrible challenge of compassion for even the most hateful freaks and being able to see the fear and pain in everyone, EVERYONE. That’s my belief and that’s what’s hard. I know that I’m not using my best most higher self thinking when I let myself get riled up and feel justified by the applause breaks that I agree with on Bill Maher’s show or the callers that call in to Air America. There is MORE than that one manipulated emotion.

I don’t think I’m stupid because I have a religion. I think I’m pretty smart and am extremely rational and embrace progress and change. I don’t think God is some entity who controls life on Earth. It’s not God’s job to jump in a battlefield and stop a war and I find that people who challenge my beliefs, who say, if there is a God why is there war? I feel like they’re acting and thinking as childishly as they perceive me to be for believing in God. Why is there war? Because there are humans and we’re an experiment and we fail. End of story. In my opinion. And I don’t know why anyone chooses to argue with me about God anyway. I could care less who believes and who doesn’t. What does my belief look like? Most of the times like a rebellious teenager shaking her fist. It’s just so damn personal, I don’t know why people argue this stuff.

Of course the religious politicians we know do seem to be of an extreme brand and they’re mostly unsettling and even when some Dems play that game, Hillary and Obama and Edwards saying that their faith influences decisions. Who cares? Just go for peace and we’ll sort of “get” that you might be a faithful person, but also no one fucking cares.

This all came about because Bill Maher mentioned on his show that he’s a rationalist and he rattled off what he doesn’t believe as testimony to this rational mindset. It’s sort of his way of saying religious=irrational and vice versa. I know it’s his point of view, his comedy, why not go the extra mile and really make a statement, but I actually think it’s as anti-intellectual sounding as some religious zealots. I think it’s quite rational and intellectual to think beyond our worldly selves. Thank God some people have because irrational thinking brought about some of our greatest leaders, scientists, philosophers and more.