I don’t get it. I think Twitter is where I draw the line with technology. When I first found out about Twitter last year, I wrote a snarky column about it for an online magazine I was working for. I admit, I was just trying to “find an angle” after reading that some kid Twittered that he was contemplating suicide and sent hundreds of friends he’d never met into a panic. 

So, now that I have to whore myself out on everything that begins with www because that’s what comedians think nowadays, I decided to join Twitter. I see that many people are following me – and that’s not to brag – maybe just a little but what are they getting out of it? I barely update. And when I do I feel so much pressure to say something funny in such a short word count. 

I have a hard time following other people on Twitter. I don’t care. So, do I just log on to the page and scroll through updates? I suppose I have to have a reason – like a follow a live-baseball-game Twitter session or a live surgery. I don’t use Twitter on my ‘handheld device’ because my handheld device is usually at the bottom of my purse – ignoring anyone who tries to contact me on it. 

I think this might be where I officially shut down and don’t want to learn any more new and hip technology. Obviously if I have to use a computer to breathe in the future, I’ll have my friend’s grandchildren show me how. But I’m not having fun on Twitter. 

I’m not one of those comics who is complaining that coffee is too expensive and everyone has a reality show. I’m not going to go as far as saying I’d rather actually TALK to people rather than type to them, I wouldn’t. 

I’m watching Keith Olbermann right now and he’s talking to someone about Newt Gingrich’s Twitter action from last night. I feel overwhelmed. There are too many people communicating all at once. Too much information is swirling around at all times. I don’t like when the adults are in on social networking – especially politicians who are Twittering during a presidential speech? It’s the equivalent of holding a transistor radio or a Watchman to watch a football game – remember those old sight gags from 1980’s sitcoms? 

Anyway, I’ll blog. I’ll Facebook Fan Page. I’ll Myspace. But I’m bad at Twitter.

I’m also bad at accepting mean comments on my WordPress blog about how I suck and am not funny. So, like Twitter, I plan to avoid those as well.


4 responses to “Twitter

  1. Yeah Twitter confuses me a little to. I mean I have it. But I dont use it all that often. If I were you…each time you write a new blog post….write it on your twitter update. Then link to it. Thats what I do anyways.

    Oh and since I totally dont think you suck and think you are one of the funniest people ever…you should just follow me on twitter so I can talk about how funny you are!!!!!! 😉

    seriously, you crack my shit up pretty much everytime you talk….

  2. I honestly just came to your blog after re-listening to your episode of Jordan, Jesse Go! to see if you had a Twitter.

    Maybe I’m the one that sucks 🙂

  3. You could do what I do, and have every headline from your blog update your twitter; and never actually directly update twitter. does this (fo’ free)

    This way, you’re doing no additional work, your fans following you on twitter will see your recent blog posts, and you still get to appear cool, young, and with it.

  4. Your blogs fun to read XD I like it.

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