Two Old Men for the Price of One

I’m walking around the Farmer’s Market today at the Grove, going to buy some wrapping paper and I’m busy digging through my gi-normous purse looking for my ATM card when an old man says, “Congratulations, Miss.”

I thought he was maybe a salesman who was congratulating me on some great deal he was about to try to swindle me into, but no, it was simpler than that.

The old man who may have been senile or crazy, but nonetheless, he tipped his tweed hat and while he walked by he said, “Congratulations, miss. You’re a real lady. The only one left in Los Angeles.”

Then I went to Kinko’s to make flyers for an upcoming stand-up comedy show that I’m doing. I’m totally ‘over’ self-promoting as it is but the flyers have to be done. They have my picture on them as well as the words, ‘stand-up comedy’ so I’m wary of handing this order over to the guy behind the counter. I’m afraid he’s going to somehow not believe that I’m a stand-up and make me prove it before he’ll complete the 100 postcards, or worse that he’ll challenge me to tell him a joke.

I assume that the old guy that takes my order is not going to know how to process it because he is over 65 and of course, I’m the idiot who can’t answer any questions about what kind of file I’m giving him. “I dunno….a picture?”

Anyway he has a real smooth cane and I don’t see a limp so I’m hoping he just likes accessories. He says something to me and I thought he said, “How many again?” I said, “One hundred.” And he said, “I said, ‘Tell me a joke.’

I said, “Oh…I thought you said how many?”

He said, “I’m just kidding anyway. You don’t have to tell me anything. One hundred was a good enough joke.”

I said, “Oh yeah, saying, ‘one-hundred’ is one of my funniest bits.”

He said, “Sounds like a winner to me. Anyone could say anything on stage and it’s funnier than half the crap on TV today.”

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