As I gear up for my flight next week (to Boston) I realize that I’m not that nervous. I’m not dreading it. Of course, I rarely dread a Jet Blue red-eye (cozy, cozy, cozy). But I’m realizing that there are more realistic things to fear.
I really think that I have a pretty good chance of being maimed by a celebrity driver. I’m in shock at the amount of celebs who drive drunk in a 5 mile vicinity of me. I live near enough Hyde, Chateau Marmont, The Ivy and all kinds of places that celebs drunkenly get in their cars after being at…and where paprazzi go on kamikaze missions to stalk and drive on the wrong side of the road in black Lincoln SUV’s.
My friends who are in AA have gone into the program with drunk driving stories that can’t even compare to Mel or Nicole. Sometimes my friends drove home extra slow and careful and didn’t remember parallel parking so badly when they sobered up and saw their car the next day. Now they’re praying to a Higher Power and celebrities are going to resort rehab, not quitting drinking and when they do drive drunk…going 100mph? Driving on the wrong side of the road, let alone wanting to get on the freeway? Who wants to go fast when they’re drunk?
I don’t feel safe in L.A. on the roads. I’m thinking I should get an airplane for errands.