Lindsey You’re Not Okay

Anyone watch SNL this weekend? I caught it (on TIVO, thank you, I’m not that big of a loser that I’d watch it live.)

Does Lindsey Lohan just host every episode now? Pearl Jam was the musical guest, so I thought that someone must have built a time machine for Lindsey to go back and host an SNL from 1992.

There was one sketch, where the “I lost my voice from clubbing and screaming at my ex to not leave me” Lohan had to devour a cake with a tableful of people. She had huge chunks of cake on her fork and she’d bring it to her mouth and barely press her lips against it and say, “Ohhhh that’s so good.” Like the way a little girl pretends to sip from a cup when she’s playing tea party.

Okay, you don’t have to eat five helpings of cake if you don’t want to for a sketch, but when you can’t bring food to your lips? What’s behind door number one, two, three, four and every door? EATING DISORDER!

Oh, but wait, I must just be some fatso because people have pointed out to me that…..she’s not as skinny as she was the last ten times she hosted SNL, she only tried coke but never got hooked, and she’s working with a nutrionist. So I’m sure all is well. It must just be her bad acting that caused her to not know how to eat cake.

As far as Pearl Jam goes… those riffs didn’t even sound good when they were Foo Fighters songs from 1995.

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