Don’t Tell Me About Cavemen

So, Dick Cheney shot someone. I’m sorry for the guy who got peppered.

Now, the more important issue is that hunting for the most part sickens me. I understand that in some cases it is sound for the environment. I have heard this argument. Control certain animal populations to prevent their demise. If that is true, fine.

I understand the hunter/hunted game. I don’t want it for myself and if I did, maybe I’d check into my local paintball parlour. Is that what they are called? For me, I feel the game would end once I instinctively felt that the bullets, or rounds, from my gun hit flesh, and tore it open.

I also feel that if you had served in a war, instead of getting 14,000 deferments you might not spend your leisure time killing things.

And please, for the love of God, don’t bring up “cavemen” and we are hunters and all this shit. We are also gatherers, and scientists and inventors and people who can live off of things that aren’t animals. I’m a vegetarian, and yes, I do eat fish. I’m not here to defend my hypocrisy because I’m not here to judge a meat-eater. It’s fine with me. My choice is personal. I’m only judging people who, when up against the wall, start throwing out emotional pleas about cavemen and how they did things then. Yes. Let’s take ancient man in all his ignorance and use that as a template.

Maybe in our post apocalyptic world when it’s man against man with guns and it’s all been bombed away, my balance bars have melted and I need meat, I’ll regret not knowing how to hunt or how to digest animal. But at that point, rotting birds will probably drop from the trees, glowing with radiation and I won’t have to hunt at all. I can just pick out the toxic feathers and bite right in.

And maybe that’s what Cheney thinks that he’ll do too, since his hunting is called “Canned Hunting”. Which means, rich, white, old, sadistic, men drive up to a field in their car (anything gas guzzling will do, like a Humvee) and wait for cage-raised animals to be freed and they shoot. Boom! Exploding blood and guts everywhere!

Cheney shot 70 of these not really hunted birds on an expedition in 2003. What a man! If only we had sent Cheney to Afghanistan, set some birds free in the general area of Osama and we’d truly have stopped terrorism by now.

Oh! And a lot of these hunting clubs have ties with big business and the Bush Administration. If you don’t believe me, just ask the Humane Society of the United States.


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