It’s A Vanity Fair

Two things.

First I read the Vanity Fair interview with Lindsay Lohan. I also read other things that are not bad and dumb like newspapers, non-fiction and good fiction. Okay. That being said, I’m impressed with her ability to realize that she smothered her ex boyfriend every second because she didn’t have a dad figure that was normal and all that. It took me until last year to realize why I’ve ruined some relationships. Otherwise, I find her to be a child. Why are children constantly being lauded with things and put up on television as if I’m supposed to find them interesting? She says things to imply that she’s fully recovered from anorexia and a childhood (which isn’t over, she’s only 19) of psychological abuse in six months? No. She claims she loves doing charity work, even though the one charity event she was supposed to show up to (for Katrina victims), she missed both flights to? She says things like, “I’m like, fine, motherfuckers.” Don’t talk like that. It’s not that it’s nasty; it’s just tedious for me to have to listen to some false-confidence swearing.

Also whatever her name is, I refuse to commit it to memory was on David Letterman last night. Some girl from the reality show, (that was shot like a film! Oh how genius! Let’s pay more attention to that!) Laguna Beach. She dropped out of college to start a company, or a TV show, I was nodding off. I have no idea. But she wanted to put “some fun” back into the lives of Katrina victims. “Manicures for everyone in New Orleans! Oh! Not you! You’re just a corpse! What’s a corpse doing here? Eww! Anyway! Tee hee! Okay! Cut! Am I done now?” I enjoyed Letterman’s subtle and blatant, depending on how you want to look at it, disregard for her and the fact that these are the folks he has to talk to on his shows.

The other night he interviewed Amy Sedaris. It was very old school, like when Terri Garr would go on and be hilarious, self-deprecating and human. Sedaris wasn’t plugging anything; she was just there to entertain Dave. He said that he feels like a “pimp for the movie industry” and would like to just talk to people who “do something with their lives” and not just actors. I feel like that interview should run on a loop, twenty-four hours a day, on some network. Maybe a new network called “We’re All Getting Tired of This Shit.”

Secondly, I have no idea what I was going to write about. But I realize I wrote “two things” above. It had to do with young people. I remember the saying “Don’t trust anyone over 30.” For me, I feel like an appropriate saying is, “I’m exhausted by anyone under 30.”

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