I was in Venice (beach not Italy, sorry) recently and I overheard a conversation. I was walking down the street (east, west, north, south – you pick! Pretend it’s a Choose Your Own Adventure!) Two guys in their (I’m assuming) early thirties were walking parallel to me on the other side of the road. There were no cars and their voices were carrying. Guy #1 was walking slightly in front of Guy #2 who was skipping to catch up, yelling and waving his arms. The conversation went like this:
Guy #2: Dude. Fucking turn around and listen to me!
Guy #1: No!! I’m sick of talking about it. There is nothing wrong with me.
Guy #2: Yes! There is! That’s the thing! You’re letting yourself be lead, you’re just not paying attention.
Guy #1: What do I need to pay attention to?
Guy #2: It’s not cool. You’re better than this. It’s insulting.
[Wow. Is this guy selling drugs? Dating a woman who is throwing him into thousands of dollars in debt?]
Guy #1: Relax. It’s not that bad. A ton of people agree with me.
Guy #2: But it’s wrong! All of those people are wrong! Do you want to really be in their company?
Guy #1: I’m in the privacy of my own home.
Guy #2: Arrrgh! I don’t mean in their company literally!
[Okay, scratch my guess above. So, does this guy like the O’Reilly Factor or Fox and Friends?]
Guy #1: Dude, calm down. You’re making a scene.
Guy #2: But it’s the only way to get through to you! This is what is wrong with America. This is why shit is so bad.
[Okay, this guy clearly voted for Bush and his friend just found out.]
Guy #1: I’m not talking about this further. We obviously don’t agree.
Guy #2: Do you relate to any of it? I mean git ‘er done? What is that?
Guy #1: Well, that’s not what I like about it. I mean, yeah the redneck and racist shit is stupid. I’m just saying that I think Ron White is fucking hilarious.
TOTAL SILENCE. GUY #2 STOPS. GUY #1 STOPS TO LOOK BACK.
Guy #2: Yeah, Ron White is cool, totally. Hey man, I’m sorry. I thought you meant that you liked Larry the Cable Guy.
Guy #1: Fuck, no.
Guy #2: Shit, sorry man. You scared me.
Guy #1: Why is Ron White on that show with those other dip-shits anyway?
Guy #2: I have no fucking idea. Take it where you can get it, I guess.
GUY #2 JOINS UP WITH GUY #1 AS THEY WALK INTO THE SUNSET IN COMFORTABLE SILENCE.