Found Comedy

I was in Venice (beach not Italy, sorry) recently and I overheard a conversation. I was walking down the street (east, west, north, south – you pick! Pretend it’s a Choose Your Own Adventure!) Two guys in their (I’m assuming) early thirties were walking parallel to me on the other side of the road. There were no cars and their voices were carrying. Guy #1 was walking slightly in front of Guy #2 who was skipping to catch up, yelling and waving his arms. The conversation went like this:

Guy #2: Dude. Fucking turn around and listen to me!

Guy #1: No!! I’m sick of talking about it. There is nothing wrong with me.

Guy #2: Yes! There is! That’s the thing! You’re letting yourself be lead, you’re just not paying attention.

Guy #1: What do I need to pay attention to?

Guy #2: It’s not cool. You’re better than this. It’s insulting.

[Wow. Is this guy selling drugs? Dating a woman who is throwing him into thousands of dollars in debt?]

Guy #1: Relax. It’s not that bad. A ton of people agree with me.

Guy #2: But it’s wrong! All of those people are wrong! Do you want to really be in their company?

Guy #1: I’m in the privacy of my own home.

Guy #2: Arrrgh! I don’t mean in their company literally!

[Okay, scratch my guess above. So, does this guy like the O’Reilly Factor or Fox and Friends?]

Guy #1: Dude, calm down. You’re making a scene.

Guy #2: But it’s the only way to get through to you! This is what is wrong with America. This is why shit is so bad.

[Okay, this guy clearly voted for Bush and his friend just found out.]

Guy #1: I’m not talking about this further. We obviously don’t agree.

Guy #2: Do you relate to any of it? I mean git ‘er done? What is that?

[Wait, huh?]

Guy #1: Well, that’s not what I like about it. I mean, yeah the redneck and racist shit is stupid. I’m just saying that I think Ron White is fucking hilarious.

TOTAL SILENCE. GUY #2 STOPS. GUY #1 STOPS TO LOOK BACK.

Guy #2: Yeah, Ron White is cool, totally. Hey man, I’m sorry. I thought you meant that you liked Larry the Cable Guy.

Guy #1: Fuck, no.

Guy #2: Shit, sorry man. You scared me.

Guy #1: Why is Ron White on that show with those other dip-shits anyway?

Guy #2: I have no fucking idea. Take it where you can get it, I guess.

GUY #2 JOINS UP WITH GUY #1 AS THEY WALK INTO THE SUNSET IN COMFORTABLE SILENCE.

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2 responses to “Found Comedy

  1. Awesome. A similar moment happened to me at the movies a few months ago. Waiting for friends to show up at a films opening, I was staked out at the top of an escalaltor where they would be be coming up. I had my iPod on and shades, so I was pretty anonymous (or dorky). The tall walls around the escalator had massive banners promoting the various characters in the then upcoming Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but I had hardly noticed…

    Before long, two muscle bound, leather and denim clad pals come up the escalator. Come to think of it, these guys would have been much more at home on Venice Beach than Boston. Anyway, they are fighting, arguing vehemently, but I can’t hear them due to my iPod. They are pretty tough looking, so I don’t want to get caught spying, but I am pretty confident they haven’t noticed me, so I turn off the music without removing the headphones. This is all I hear as they pass me,

    “I don’t care what the fuck you say man, there is no way anyone can do a better job then Gene Wilder did in the original and that’s it…”

  2. This is really on some overheardinnewyork level funniness.

    kudos

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